Steve Andreas – Building Self Concept
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We have been exploring the impact of process variables and content variables and their interactions to ensure that the quality of your self-concept is durable and responsive to feedback. We also discussed the importance of integrating counterexamples and how to convert counterexamples into examples. Using what you have learned, you can ask someone about any important qualities of their self-concept, ask them to find out what they have done, and then teach them various other skills so that their self-concept can work better than It’s already done. Making such changes will reverberate throughout their lives, affecting many specific behaviors and responses.
It’s time to demonstrate how to use all this information to do something more useful and creative, that is, to create a brand new positive self-concept in the absence of such expressiveness.
When someone thinks they have a certain quality (for example, cute), it indicates that they have a positive self-concept for that quality. Because they have a foundation of inner understanding, they do not need other people to tell them, and when others express their approval for them, they will fully appreciate the additional confirmation.
When someone says “I don’t like people”, it means that they think they are not like people. This is a negative self-concept of this quality, which we will discuss in detail later. If we try to establish a positive self-concept for this quality, it will be very difficult because it will conflict with the already existing negative self-concept. If we do succeed in establishing new positive qualities, it will create contradictions and uncertainty. Some people have created conflicts in this way. Sometimes they feel cute, sometimes they don’t like it, and they are often unsure.
When someone says “I don’t think I’m cute”, we need more information to understand their inner experience. They may say that they have negative self-concepts. Or, they may be taken literally, that is, they have no positive self-concept (or negative self-concept) for this quality. They probably know what the word “cute” means, but they have not gathered experience (positive or negative) to provide any information about whether they are cute. For the sake of convenience, I will refer to this situation where no database exists as an “empty set”.
Because they do not know whether they are cute, they usually ask others to confirm. However, even if they receive this support from others, this support will not last long because they have no way to store this information. Hearing external confirmation is like holding water in a sieve-it will pass and disappear. Therefore, they may soon request again, and are often described by others as “unsafe”, “naughty” or “dependent”.
In this case, it is appropriate to simply combine experience into the desired quality of positive self-concept, which is the method first described a few years ago. (Please refer to “Book of Soul”, Chapter 3). Since someone usually has a vague or negative representation of quality, the chances of using this model are limited. However, for teaching purposes, it is useful to start with the simplest case. In this case, there is no negativity or contradiction to deal with, and we can simply use the knowledge we have learned to build new self-concepts. Soon, we will continue to learn how to transform contradictory or negative self-concepts into positive self-concepts.
The next verbatim record is a demonstration of NLP practicing physician training in 1992, available on DVD (Building Self Concept, Steve Andreas). At that time, I was still in the process of modeling my self-concept, so I had much less knowledge than I am now. I gave a short introductory speech as before, and when I asked volunteers to demonstrate the process, Peter raised his hand.
What do you want? (set up)
Peter: Well, “cute” really resonates.
Well, you don’t think you are cute.
Peter: Nothing special.
Think you are cute, so come on. (Peter came to the front of the room.) Well, now I say that sentence, what are you doing inside?
Peter: (Shakes his head, shrugging) I’m gone, “No.”
Now, if you “no”, please give me more. (For the group) I am testing to make sure it is not one of these (negative factors).
Peter: Well, this is very successful-I think it is very blank.
“Blank.” Okay. It sounds pretty good. Because if it’s one of these (empty sets), then there seems to be nothing there. Not that there is a negative. When I experience you, I will not-I will not
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